Deposit

The Story
When we reached the deer stand, Dad once again gave the full debriefing: “Here is what we are looking for, this is where the deer are going to come from, this is the time of day it is going to happen, here is where you shoot the deer, are you listening to me, this is how long you stay in your stand after you shoot, you do not fall asleep or you will die, and if you need some help come and find me.” To a teenage boy, all I heard was we were on a mission to kill!
The truck pulled away and it began. Then it happened! The stars lined up and the one referred to as “The Big Boy” walked out! The checklist began to ring in my mind. I took a deep breath, aimed for the shoulder, made sure he was really that big, let him get broadside, held my breathe…, and squeezed! With the squeeze of a trigger, a “mortal man” became heroic! The beast fell at the hands of the great hunter!
Dad, quickly pulled up on the four wheeler. Like a kid on Christmas morning opening presents with wide eyes, he looked up and whispered, “Did you get him?” I replied, “I think so, and Dad, he is huge!”
This is where it got fun! Deep inside, Dad was and is always hoping that I can take him to the smallest speck of blood, look at him and say, “He ran that way and I am not sure if we will ever find him!” You see, he was born with this tracking gift. He becomes one with the deer. One time, I saw him put his fingers on his head, make horns, and paw at the ground to begin thinking like a deer. Ok, he didn’t do that…but it’s close.
While I was searching a hundred yards away standing on the main blood trail, he exclaimed, “Here he is!” He was more excited than if he would have killed it himself. We hugged, we high-fived, we laughed, broke out the disposable camera, it was great.
But there is a the part of this story that Dad probably never knew meant so much to me. I love to kill deer, but the deer hair can take me down! Trust me, we learned the hard way. I am highly allergic to the hair. I can’t skin the deer. I will swell up like a blowfish and if I am not careful and it can send me to the hospital. In Redneck Land, skinning your own deer is a passage of a boy to man-hood. There were times when I felt like I wasn’t going to be a good father or a good man because, I will not be able to show my children or grandchildren how to skin a deer. Sounds silly I know, but not to a fourteen year old boy!
As many times as Dad could have complained, he didn’t. He never took a cheap shot. He never pointed it out. He never made everyone laugh at my expense. It is not a big deal now, but as a teenage boy, it could have wounded me worse than any deer we ever killed. For years, every time we went to skinning rack, I readied myself for the attack, but he never let it come.
I know now that hunting was never about him. In fact, his life has never been about him. He knows that when one of his sons wants to hunt in the same stand with him, it is because we need some time to talk. If a hunting stand meeting is pursued, he is always there to welcome it. He never turned his back on those moments…He always answered the bell.

The Lesson
As a student pastor, I watch father after father try to find common ground to build moments with their sons. Then I watch as a cheap shot to impress the student pastor or another father takes the breath out of their sons. Oh, the son would never admit that is hurts, but it does.
We live in a world full of insults and tear-downs. A teenage boy goes from one war zone to another all day. Don’t think so...try sitting at the lunch table of jr. high cafeteria one day or drop in on the locker room.
A teenage boy knows his flaws. He knows his failures. Sure there are times to confront problems that can be corrected. However, some of the insults and jokes from childhood have left many men with scars well into manhood.
Seams simple...it is not. It is so much easier to tear down than it is to build up.

The Word
Colossians 3:21
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will be discouraged.”

The Application
You can’t force times to be encouraging. You have to recognize the opportunities to say something and the opportunities not to say something. Open your eyes. Each day, your son gives you the opportunity to deposit or withdrawal. There will come a time when you need to make a big withdrawal and confront something serious in your son’s life. You have to have enough in the bank to do that. Choose wisely. Sometimes the best deposit is not making a big withdrawal.